By I stand at my desk looking at the sunshine out of the front window in the house where I became a mother, twenty years ago. I’m recalling the months after my middle son was born. I was desperate to feel my body as my own again, so I started doing
THE Announcement – My Mom’s View
ANNOUNCEMENT (Please read, then watch the video): Nine years ago, I started a project that became transformational then seminal: Over the summer of 2007, at 37 years old, I finally came of age via doing 22 things I’d never done, like getting drunk, going dancing, getting a tattoo, and smoking
Humility: Not the First Thing
“Just stay humble.” “Don’t get too excited.” “You’re not all that.” Have you ever heard these sorts of words? In my humble opinion, I think hearing them at the beginning of an endeavor cripples accomplishment and creativity. If you want to know why my screensaver is crazy-blinged out and all
The Worst Victoria Secret’s Experience Ever: An Excerpt from The Oat Project
Note: That photo up there was taken post-tattoo, post-book, long after the moment below happened. In the following, I was just trying to do and finish the project, feeling like I sucked at everything, trying to do what I said I would do, all amidst the core of being a mother.
Happy Birthday, Mom
Dear Mom, Happy Birthday, mamadear, on what would have been your 69th. I’m sitting here about to watch an Agatha Christie movie, whom you loved, eating beets then pecan shortbread, which you loved (as do I), end-of-week tired from work you would have been so happy to know I was
My Mother’s Words to Me, Through Me
The last week or two, a sort of time warp has wrapped every moment in as intense a grief and dark a depression as just after my mother and sister-in-law died a year and two months ago. It’s as though some parts of my mind and body have moved through
Lists and Christmas: The One Thing I Want for Christmas
My childhood Christmas lists were a work of art. Crafted from hours with my nose in the Sears catalog, the key at the top was essential. Need Very Badly = NVB. Need = N. Want = W. Want Very Much = WVM. Each item (often topping 100) was coded, with its
The Layers of Funeral Day
A year ago today, my family and I, with 200+ folks, honored my mother’s life, celebrating her beautiful spirit at her funeral. She died on December 4th, 2012. This past week has been intense, sortof a dual living, split in time between now and a year ago, like it’s layered,
My Mother’s Ring
Right now, I am standing at a coffee shop, trying to write about my mom, for you, for myself, to honor her today. She died at about 2:30 a.m. on December 4th a year ago. Tomorrow, I will tell you more about those last days. For this day, I have
Thanksgiving, Family, and Light
I’ve tried several times over the last few weeks to tell you of how life is right now. Anniversaries that no one else sees pass daily: the day my mom told me which dress to wear at her funeral, the day she gave away her jewelry, her last batch of
