By Four years ago yesterday, my family and I stood in an Arkansas ICU hospital room where my brother fought for his life. On the way back from burying my mother in a Tennessee graveyard, my brother and his wife were rear-ended by two semis while sitting in traffic behind another
Three Years…On the Upswing
Three years ago today, my mom died after a long battle with cancer. She was 67. Too young. Unlike the others, this anniversary has not felt muffled and dark. Instead, it’s been filled with hanging out with my children and much laughter. It’s been a bright day. Mom died on
Back to Life: Weeping Salaams with Hugging and Wailing Dancing Spinning Gratitude and Pie
It was February 2012. I was about to launch the serialization of my book, The Oat Project. I got a call from family saying my mom was in the hospital. She had beaten cancer twice since 2008 but had struggled in the year before with “maintenance” chemo. She was having
Happy Birthday, Mom
Dear Mom, Happy Birthday, mamadear, on what would have been your 69th. I’m sitting here about to watch an Agatha Christie movie, whom you loved, eating beets then pecan shortbread, which you loved (as do I), end-of-week tired from work you would have been so happy to know I was
The Gifts of Empty
The kitchen is where my inner science geek and slapdashing artist get to dirty dance…pure alchemy. Cooking has always given me energy, yes; but it also requires a focus, effort, and sense of play that I haven’t been able to muster often over the last year and a half since
Divergent? Or Derailed?
What do you do when you fall short of a goal? How do you Define it? Is it a Divergence? Or a Derailing? Are you more motivated with humongous, “unrealistic” goals? Or small steps? I am slowly figuring out how I work best. I keep thinking that making big goals
An April Fool’s Announcement – Not a Joke
I have learned to avoid announcing my intentions. The following through, the doing, the making good…they seem to hear my words and spiral away, in and out of me, up, down, or into some other dimension. Maybe my dad was right. I must have a rebellious nature. And sometimes, I
My Mother’s Words to Me, Through Me
The last week or two, a sort of time warp has wrapped every moment in as intense a grief and dark a depression as just after my mother and sister-in-law died a year and two months ago. It’s as though some parts of my mind and body have moved through
Lists and Christmas: The One Thing I Want for Christmas
My childhood Christmas lists were a work of art. Crafted from hours with my nose in the Sears catalog, the key at the top was essential. Need Very Badly = NVB. Need = N. Want = W. Want Very Much = WVM. Each item (often topping 100) was coded, with its
Death, Meaning, and a Chest Cold: Gratitude
I keep trying to make meaning with words on this day, but they aren’t coming out properly yet. One year ago today, my family and I buried my mom in Tennessee, on the same hill as her father and family. It was a year ago date-wise, but day-of-the-week-wise, which is
