By It was February 2012. I was about to launch the serialization of my book, The Oat Project. I got a call from family saying my mom was in the hospital. She had beaten cancer twice since 2008 but had struggled in the year before with “maintenance” chemo. She was having
An Excerpt from The Oat Project
JOURNAL 11.21.2012 Last night, I sat with my mom as she struggled through the worst night of pain thus far in her fight with cancer. Her abdomen was sore from throwing up, the morphine was not working well, and her thirst remained unquenched fearing more nausea. I felt completely helpless. I
Life: 0 to 60 in Fourteen Seconds Flat
You know how Life can go from 0 to 60 in fourteen seconds flat? I’m clocking in at 74 with an eye on 90. Before I tell you why, thank you, so very much, for walking through this life with me, for supporting my efforts as writer/photographer/singer/speaker/etc=Artist. I’m still going!
Happy Birthday, Mom
Dear Mom, Happy Birthday, mamadear, on what would have been your 69th. I’m sitting here about to watch an Agatha Christie movie, whom you loved, eating beets then pecan shortbread, which you loved (as do I), end-of-week tired from work you would have been so happy to know I was
My Mother’s Words to Me, Through Me
The last week or two, a sort of time warp has wrapped every moment in as intense a grief and dark a depression as just after my mother and sister-in-law died a year and two months ago. It’s as though some parts of my mind and body have moved through
Death, Meaning, and a Chest Cold: Gratitude
I keep trying to make meaning with words on this day, but they aren’t coming out properly yet. One year ago today, my family and I buried my mom in Tennessee, on the same hill as her father and family. It was a year ago date-wise, but day-of-the-week-wise, which is
The Layers of Funeral Day
A year ago today, my family and I, with 200+ folks, honored my mother’s life, celebrating her beautiful spirit at her funeral. She died on December 4th, 2012. This past week has been intense, sortof a dual living, split in time between now and a year ago, like it’s layered,
My Mother’s Ring
Right now, I am standing at a coffee shop, trying to write about my mom, for you, for myself, to honor her today. She died at about 2:30 a.m. on December 4th a year ago. Tomorrow, I will tell you more about those last days. For this day, I have
The Somersaulted Rant of Sheisse (Thank You)
This whole thing started with “Sheisse!” (“shit” in German) And I felt justified in saying it, too. Out loud, even! For Stuff has gone Wrong all day. Broken dishes, broken wifi, broken me…ah, there’s one part of it. Only in the last few days has my mom felt…gone gone, physically
Miyazaki and Yoga
Today, Hayao Miyazaki announced his retirement. Creator of my favorite movie–Howl’s Moving Castle–and many more well-loved cinematic marvels, we fans mourned his exit…perhaps all hoping he will break out with some unforeseen brilliance for us someday? From Howl’s Moving Castle, I have learned and internalized so much about love and
